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okay…

I figure if I survived a day like today…
I can survive anything…

not sayin I’m not hurt though
hurtin badly enough that if things don’t chill the fuck down I might have to skip a work day an go to a doc… internal bleedin ain’t a joke but apparently it’s not that big a deal/chronic with me and I’ll be fine losing copious amounts before it becomes serious. “as long as it’s not coagulating inside your body” I’ve been told… >:( fuckin docs say such scary things sometimes… of course this is my fault for being so easily stressed about things and being unable to ingest and break down food like a normal person when I’m under physical stresses… I probably got cysts in my freakin stomach an docs jus wanna keep giving me a pat on the shoulder an say I’m still eating wrong… whatever… probably gonna be back in the furnaces tomorrow… yay…

videohall:

This is why you don’t mess around with a baby bear

> Calling all internet sleuths: We need the rest of this video…

> Who the f*ck doesn’t know you leave baby bears the hell alone??

the whole time I’m jus like “You stupid fucks, what the hell are you doing?”
then that last second goes by and my heart stops o.o

Long rant… crying this eve…

I’ve been stressed out with some things about work that happened today an how I’ve seen things going in my trade the past couple years… The way things are handled regarding safety it’d be no surprise if I end up with lung cancer and die before I get to retire like everyone else in the trade. Sure they’re cracking down on safety more on these industrial sites but the practices amongst my mentors/journeyman are still just preachin safety at the gate and kissin ass in the field. I was contaminated today working on the furnace doghouse. I couldn’t contain the burnt insulfrax and felt uncomfortable taking off my paper coveralls right on the deck only feet from the contaminants. Not only that but my journeymen only put on their papers once the insulfrax removal began and a crew of scaffolders set up decking just feet from us as we were working and was joking at us (wearing our full face masks) to say “Luke, I am your father”
The wind blew the contaminants we were stripping right down on top of the admin building and shop making everyone in the area contaminated even if they weren’t even industrial trades people. Nothing frustrates me more than hypocrites and inefficiency. Why bother preaching safety to death then only keeping people around who are willing to do anything to get the job done? Why be so concerned about safety but punish a newly hired apprentice for reporting a foreign object in their eye when they’re wearing (the proper but not impermeable) dust goggles and making them wait over half an hour filling out the report before allowing them to rinse out their eye?

You Want Shit Done Right? Then Let Me Do It Fucking Right
Or else stop feeding us bullshit at the fucking door…

my rant… not why I am crying though…

I am crying because I finally had this moment of talking about my concerns with my father this evening and he decided to fund my secondary education. I told him I haven’t gone back to school because I’m always worried about the money… I paid off debts with this money I made in the trades and I was hoping I’d save up enough to pay for rent and the fees and any extra things for several months and finish paying off my car since the gov won’t aid me since I’m a young single childless adult that can’t prove my status… I already know I can live off of frozen waffles for 3 months… I knew I could do it if I worked through till the winter this time… as long as I didn’t get laid off and succumb to depression during that time… that was what I’ve been afraid of…
The crippling depression… I’ve been doing good keeping it at bay this past half year even with all that has been going on. I powered right through this time and look, I got my own place and I still have my car. I really like being physically active and insulating pipes and tanks and all kinds of neat things with mineral wool and aluminum jacketing is the best. Foam glass is even better… but this insulfrax, asbestos, aerogel, pyrogel, cryogel, and ceramic fiber bullshit and how my coworkers handle it when they’re supposed to be teaching me how to stay safe… Is complete fucking bullshit. This is not worth my lungs, this is not worth my life. I’m not stupid and I’m not playing this game. 

I’m talking to a safety guy, and I know exactly who to talk to
I’m getting scheduled for drafting engineering classes in september (oh god I’m getting nervous and excited)

I’m going to get fucking used to the heat and I’m gonna keep my full face mask on as soon as I’m on the deck then eventually build my endurance to keep it and my paper covs on all the way out of the damn admin building…

*sigh* “too smart to be an insulator he says” I been hearing that a lot lately and I would’ve never been one in the first place had things gone a little differently…

art-of-swords:

Mamluk Knife with Decorated Scabbard

  • Dated: 14th - 16th century 
  • Measurements: overall length 21.5 cm; blade length 11 cm

The blade is made of watered steel decorated with three embedded coral beads and the inscription "The time of the reign of Sultan Malik Zahir". On the reverse of the blade reads, "Fly high, bird of distress and revenge, your rigor and fairness affirm human fate".

The knife has a square tapered handle of blue glass. The ivory scabbard is richly inlaid with mother of pearl, brass and stones, representing the heavens, with gilt silver fittings with garnets and turquoise.

Source: Copyright © 2014 Galerie Arcimboldo

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